Wisdom used for Folly

I am at home tonight preparing to teach in the morning.  Max is asleep; Ryan isn't home yet.  It's the perfect, rare opportunity to prepare, think, and....blog.

We are in a series called "GO" on weekends in Jhigh right now...talking about evangelism.  I have been thinking about this all night long now.   I must admit to you, in every season of my life, this is something I have struggled with for one reason or another.  I have always loved ministry and sharing Christ, but my actions have mostly occurred within church walls.  I have always struggled with reaching the lost, unchurched world around me.

I remember in high school, we had a camp t-shirt with St. Augustine's famous quote on it: "Preach Christ at all times.  If necessary, use words."  Don't get me wrong; Augustine is right.  This is a very biblical concept.  We are, without a doubt, intended to be like stars shining in this crooked and depraved generation.  However, my depravity of mind has used this quote to contribute to silence and lack of action at times in my life.  How easy it has been to say, "I need not speak; surely they will notice my life."  The problem, though, is simple.  Our world very much believes that there is good within all people.  Those of us who are in Christ know this to be a deceptive falsehood, but our secular culture adamantly believes it to be true.  So...when (and if) the world notices my life as a Christian, they will likely label me as "good".  They may think of me as a humanitarian if I am exceptionally helpful, a philanthropist if I am very generous, or an environmentalist if I marvel at the creation of my God.

No, indeed.  Words ARE necessary.  I MUST live my life in a way that honors Christ - no question.  But I also MUST be a good, faithful steward of the ministry of reconciliation that has been entrusted to me.  Lord, give us words.  Lord, make us bold.

Surprised by Dependence

I tend to think that I'm a pretty independent person.  I am a bit of a control freak.  Ask anyone I ever did a group project with at school...  There are certain things I like certain ways, and up until the last year, my time was pretty much my own to do with as I pleased.
After Max was born, I was very dependent on Ryan.  It just made such a difference to know that I didn't have to do everything on my own.  Ryan was my partner.  Then...time passed and I have become almost as independent as a mom as I tend to be in other areas.  This is who I am...I think.
Then I have an experience like I did this morning.  We have been on family vacation, and this morning Ryan headed back home to go back to work while Max and I go to visit family.  I was a wreck.  Apparently, I am much more dependent than I had previously realized.  I guess I take my amazing husband for granted so often - the fact that he's there for me, the fact that he loves me, the fact that he puts our needs before his own.  So, this morning has just reminded me how grateful I should be.  Ryan, I love you...see you soon, but not soon enough.